1. We can’t change the prices no matter how much you ask. The company sets the prices, not the retail workers.
2. We deal with hundreds of people a day, so your flirting also won’t change the price. Company policy is company policy no matter how beautiful you may be.
3. We know that the “consumer law” threat is very rarely a valid argument. Not having stock is not a breach of consumer law. Nor is not giving you a refund when you don’t have a receipt.
4. We also understand that you may want a refund, but it doesn’t always mean you’re “entitled” to one. Return policies are there for a reason.
5. We are tired of hearing the “I shop somewhere else” threat. Feel free to shop where you ~wish~.
6. We have staff restrooms for staff; there are public restrooms just outside the store. Do you really need ours?!
7. We may price match, but that doesn’t mean we can discount everything. How can we match online pricing when they don’t have to pay rent or staff?!
8. We also don’t have an unlimited staff discount to give to everyone. Please don’t bring your fifth cousin twice separated to me for a discount. Please.
9. We do try our hardest to get around to serving everyone. We aren’t going out of our way to avoid serving you.
10. We’ve heard the “if it doesn’t scan it must be free” joke about 73 times today. We’ve reached our daily fake-laugh quota.
11. We would prefer you to ask us for help with a size than rummage through all the piles. It saves you time, and it saves us time later.
12. We wish you would just directly give us the things you don’t want rather than place them anywhere in store. It makes recovery cleaning 110% more difficult.
13. We hate when you come in at 8:55pm when we close at 9:00pm. We especially hate it when you stay for two hours at 8:55pm.
14. We have targets to meet, so it would be amazing if you let us know whether you have an intention to buy. We will still help you but it helps us know that we can juggle a few people at the same time.
15. We don’t know every single item in store by heart. When you call up and give us a vague description it really doesn’t help.
16. We can’t value your expired coupons or old catalogues. Company policy, ya know?
17. We know you hate being asked if you need help, but it is literally our job. If we don’t greet you as you walk in… we get in trouble.
18. We don’t control stock. That’s head office’s job.
19. We can’t just give you the floor stock or the item that another customer has on hold. We need display items and we need to not steal other people’s things.
20. We don’t control what’s in the catalogue. Head office AGAIN.
21. We also don’t control whether what is in the catalogue is in stock.
It isn’t “