6 Tips to Mend a Broken Marriage where Cheating is involved
10/26/2012 5:39:00 AM
MORE THAN CHEATING ON YOUR MIND
While money problems, health issues and disagreements about the children can strain a marriage, it is only infidelity that actually undermines the foundation of a marital union. When one partner cheats on the other, does that mean the marriage is over? Not necessarily. While infidelity definitely causes intense emotional pain, heartache and devastation, an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage, according to researchers at the Mayo Clinic. With time, healing and the mutual goal of rebuilding your relationship, it is possible to emerge from infidelity with a stronger and more honest marriage. The Mayo Clinic offers these six tips for mending a broken marriage:
1. Be accountable
if you were the one who cheated, take responsibility for your actions. Not only must you end the affair now, but also cease all interaction and communication with your lover.
2. Be honest
Once an affair is discovered, there is a period of shock. Give your spouse time and space to work through that initial shock and then discuss what happened openly and honestly--no matter how difficult talking or hearing about the affair may be.
3. Consider your shared goals as a couple
Do you share a common goal of reconciliation? If so, be aware that healing your marriage and making it whole again will take time, energy and commitment.
4. Consult a marriage counselor
Do turn to a licensed marriage counselor who is specifically trained in marital therapy and experienced in dealing with infidelity. Counseling will not only help you put the affair into perspective, but also identify issues that may have contributed to the affair. You'll also learn how to rebuild and strengthen your relationship.
5. Restore trust
By going to counseling together you can confirm your commitment to the marriage and help prevent secrecy from continuing to erode your relationship. If you were the one who was unfaithful, you may be anxious to put the affair behind you and move forward, but it's important to let your partner set his or her own timetable for recovery.
Because infidelity is so emotionally devastating, forgiveness isn't likely to come quickly or easily--but it may become easier over time.